


Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You?

by pynchs



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Lams - Freeform, M/M, fake dating au, john and alex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-18 17:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5936611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pynchs/pseuds/pynchs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Alexander discovers everyone in the White House speculates when/if him and his best friend John Laurens will ever get together, he's enraged. When he discovers his rival, Thomas Jefferson, thinks they won't ever get together because "John is too good for him," Alexander sees no other solution but to pretend to date John to get back at Jefferson.<br/>Over the course of the next month as they build a relationship in the public, the two of them are building a relationship in private as well, and it's building silently until the two of them can no longer keep it inside of them. </p><p>(I'm bad at summaries but it's just a really cute fake dating au)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hercules and Lafayette were ridiculous assholes, especially when drunk. Alexander thought this to himself as he sat next to John Laurens on the couch of his apartment, his phone pressed against his ear as he listened to the wasted charades being played on the other line, hearing their shouts through the phone. The next voice that came out on the other end was Laf’s, and when he spoke it was all French, every bit of it. He had finally reached the tipping point of being drunk to forgetting English all together and reverting to his native tongue.  _ “Quand allez-vous deux allez enfin baiser, mon ami?  _ Alexander knew exactly what that meant, he was fluent in French, he had implied that Alex and John should have sex. He also called him his friend, and that was about it. He heard a rustling over the phone and a few moments later Hercules came on the phone. He was significantly less drunk than Lafayette was. 

Alexander glanced over at John, who was staring intrigued and intently over at him, trying to hang on to every word of the conversation. He pulled the phone away from his face and pressed speakerphone, filling the living room with the sound of Herc’s voice. John sat back slightly, a sly smile on his face as Hercules began to talk. He was significantly less drunk than Laf was, and he seemed slightly exasperated at the level of intoxication his friend was beginning to reach. Once he spoke French, the night was over, but then again he had always been a lightweight. “Sorry about that, hopefully you guys don’t speak complete fluent French.” He greeted, his voice slightly slurred.

Despite the fact that he spoke French as easily as he spoke English and Hercules should’ve known that, Alex laughed, “I think I understood most of it.” He replied, placing the phone to rest on the edge of his leg near his knee. An hour ago he had been typing furiously at his computer, what he had been doing for the past thirty-seven hours without a break. He hadn’t eaten or slept in that time period, and he hadn’t paused for anywhere over a thirty second break to occasionally check his phone. A debate against his rival, Thomas Jefferson, a man he had a few choice words for, was scheduled in four days and Jefferson had swayed many Republican votes to go in his favor. Jefferson was a dick and Alexander had to beat him. He would still be typing now if John hadn’t dragged him to his apartment and demanded he shut off the computer and had something to eat. With a pathetic form of protest which would have been stronger had he not felt so weak with exhaustion, Alexander stopped working and allowed John to cook him pancakes, one of the only things in his apartment, at eight at night. They had sat together while John made him eat the pancakes and idly talked about his day, how he stopped by Burr’s office, who was the human equivalent of a potato sack, how he had pet a dog. Alexander had listened intently, and although he yearned to go back to work, he enjoyed listening to John talk, he enjoyed watching his face light up as he spoke. And although he had been hoping to go back to work after he had eaten, work never came and now they were speaking to their drunk idiot friends on the phone. 

“He’s right!” Herc exclaimed, and now Alexander was growing wary at how many people were going to tell him that him and his best friend needed to have sex tonight. “Maybe not as explicitly, but there are a lot of people that think you’d be a cute couple."

Alexander sat up straighter. It wasn’t that he cared about the cute couple remark, at all, it was the fact that Hercules had apparently been talking about how cute a couple they would be to  _ a lot of people.  _ He felt a nervous laugh rise in his throat. John sat up straighter too, alert. “What do you mean by a lot of people, Mulligan?” He calls him by his last name, something he only does when he’s starting to get a tad bit pissed off, but that’s not even bad. You should hear what he calls Jefferson.

The other end of the line is quiet for a few moments as Hercules organizes his muffled thoughts. Or maybe there’s a pause so he can take a sip of his drink. “Well we’re all betting on when you two are going to get together. There’s no money or anything.” He adds quickly. “Me and old baguette orchestrate it really, but Washington has his fun with it too.”

John nearly jumps out of his seat. “Washington?” He exclaims, and they both hear a laugh on the phone.  _ George Washington,  _ the president of the United States placing imaginary bets on when they were going to get together. 

When Alex finally regains composure to speak, his face flushed red from the exhaustion that’s beginning to affect him and the anger staring to spark inside of him, his tone is cool and chilly, “I’m going to need a list of every person that’s ever placed a  _ bet  _ on us.”

  
  


_**Daredevil Mulligan:**_ oKay I’m ataching a list of evryone whoes voted on ur rleastionship.

_**A Ham:**_ You spelled most of these names wrong.

_**A Ham:**_ And why are there so many names?

_**A Ham:**_ Herc?

_**A Ham:**_ I’m assuming you’re asleep.

_**A Ham:**_ I hope you have an atrocious hangover tomorrow.

 

It’s nearly one in the morning when Hercules sends them the list, but despite his body showing signs of collapsing, Alexander is too keyed up to sleep or rest or do anything except deal with this. John exclaims that it’s not a big deal of what anyone thinks of their friendship, but everything matters to Alex. Despite that, John attempts to coax Alexander to go to sleep in his apartment, but after a moment of useless begging he fixes them both a cup of coffee. “This is my mess too, I guess.” He mutters.

Glancing over at him as he turns the coffee pot on, Alexander tries to ignore how even in the dim kitchen light his freckles still shine like mini constellations on his face, or how when he leans and reaches up to get two cups out of the cabinet his shirt rides up exposing the small of his back. He tries to ignore how even with his tired, messy, scruffy looking hair he still looks like a masterpiece. He definitely did not just call his best friend John Laurens a masterpiece.

He shakes his head and turns his attention back to the computer, where he’s opened his email and typed out every person on the list’s email address. There’s a lot of them, eleven people, even an intern is on the list. His email pops up, which surprises Alex considering he’s an intern, but he includes him too. Out of the names listed he recognizes the drunk culprits, Herc and Lafayette, George Washington, Aaron Burr, which was a surprise to Alex. There’s also the name John Adams on the list which doesn’t surprise him considering he called him a fat motherfucker once upon a time. Charles Lee made the list but he passes over it, barely giving it a second glance. He knows how to run his mouth but doesn’t know how to do anything worth doing. The last two significant names on the list are Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, two people who have given him hell since he walked in the door. He really shouldn’t be surprised but seeing their names on there makes his blood boil.

With anger and determination coursing through his veins, he begins typing, pressing away at the keyboard.

 

***

 

He wakes up in John’s bed with John sound asleep beside him. They’re on opposite sides of the bed but it feels awfully intimate, and it takes him a moment to remember last night until it comes back in a flash, Hercules, members of the cabinet betting on when him and John would get together, writing an email at one in the morning to the majority of the members in the cabinet. He gets up slowly, not wanting to wake up John, and heads out to the living room. His computer is still open and he wakes it up, finding the email still drafted, unsent. It’s better that way, although now the passion and anger has subsided and he doesn’t care as deeply as he did last night. His phone is sitting on the couch and he picks it up, seeing that it’s 7:27 in the morning, he was never a sleeper. There’s also three texts from Hercules and six from Laf. With a sigh, Alexander sits down on the couch and begins to scroll through them, finding it to be a group chat that was named  SLEP WITH LAURNS by  _ Daredevil Mulligan  _ at 3:32 am. Apparently they did not go to sleep when he didn’t reply to his texts last night. 

 

_**Daredevil Mulligan:**_ Yo Alex soryr abou t the bets

_**Daredevil Mulligan:**_ its just a fun game

_**Le meilleur:**_ vous et Laurens êtes, comment vous dire, mignon

_**Le meilleur:**_ même washington accord

_**Daredevil Mulligan:**_ ALEXANDER TELL THIS DUDE TO STOP SPEAKING FUCKING FRENCH

_**Le meilleur:**_ mon ami, s'il vous plaît arrêter de crier

_**Le meilleur:**_ alexander, mon ami, si vous avez des sentiments pour lui, allez-y.

_**Le meilleur:**_ et si vous ne le faites pas

_**Le meilleur:**_ allez-y quand même

 

Alexander tosses his phone down beside him, too tired to work out what Lafayette was saying. Again, he gets the general idea: go after Laurens. Apparently exhaustion affects his French a bit. His head hurt. Slowly he turns his attention back to his computer, sliding his mouse over to look over the recipients of his drafted email. “Fucking Jefferson.” Alex mutters, staring at  [ thomasjefferson@whoffice.com ](mailto:thomasjefferson@hwoffice.com) . Despite how bothered he was that Jefferson voted on when they would get together, he was a little curious on how his vote went. Not that it mattered what anyone thought, it really was disgusting.

The draft was coherent but messy, using far too many emotions than Alex usually used, and he used many. After a few moments of reviewing it, reading the many words he knew were typed out in a furious manner, he decided to scrap it, deleting it and beginning a new email. He typed for half an hour, clicking away at the keyboard and only paused briefly when John woke up and made them both coffee before sitting down on the couch to watch Alexander type. He seemed awfully unrattled by this whole subject, but John had always been calm energy, compartmentalizing problems that arose and dealing with them rather quickly. Time seemed to pass slowly, but eventually John cleared his throat. “Are you sending out a seven hundred page book, or?” He questioned, but when Alex glanced up at him he had a small smile on his face.

“Maybe I am.” He replied defensively, and then sighed. Getting defensive with John never seemed to get anywhere. “People that I work with think we’re together or that we should get together. And they  _ actively vote on it.”  _ It wasn’t the relationship part that bothered him, really. He couldn’t care less if people thought him and John were together, it wasn’t like that and they both had a mutual agreement about it and that was good enough. But even Washington spoke about it with people Alex worked with. Even fucking Jefferson talked about it. 

Before John could reply, Alexander grabbed his phone and dialed Hercules’s number. He knew it was only eight or so in the morning and it was unlikely he would answer, but he called anyway. After three rings someone answered, and when they spoke Alex realized it was Lafayette. “Alexander, mon ami.” He greeted, sounding cheery despite the fact that he had to be atrociously hungover at the moment.

Even though he was still vaguely ticked off, Alex smiled. Lafayette was typically lively and pleasant and he had an effect on people. “Hey Laf, I know you must be hungover but I have a question for you, I guess.” Either one of them would be helpful in this department. 

For some reason, he didn’t seem terribly hungover, maybe it was the phone. “On the contrary, the French might be how you say, lightweights, but I never suffer hangovers.” After a few moments he added, swearing, “Hercules on the other hand, quel putain trou du cul en ce moment.” Alexander laughed and so did Laf. “Anyway mon ami, what do you need?”

“When that farm-fucker Jefferson voted on whether John and I should be a couple, what did he say?” When he asked that, John laughed in a startled manner, nearly spilling his cup of coffee on the couch.

He had made a mistake referring to Jefferson as  _ farm-fucker  _ to Lafayette. Undeterred by the fact that Jefferson was the human equivalent of evil, Lafayette was fond of him in a way. They worked together in France for a short stretch of time, and the two of them bonded. It mad Alexander shake just thinking about it. Lafayette scoffs from the other end of the line. “Jeune. I’m not even going to make a remark about what you called him. Regardless, he said it would never happen. That John was too good for you.” After a few seconds he adds, “That pissed Madison off quite a bit.”

After he ends the call, Alex starts pacing. John tries to coax him to sit and calm down a little bit but it’s useless, he continues to pace. After a while he retreats back to the couch, watching Alex closely with concern casted across his face. “We have to date.” Alexander blurts, causing John to burst out laughing in a nervous manner, but Alex’s face is dead serious. It’s the only way to prove Jefferson wrong. He’s suddenly glad he didn’t send the email before calling Hercules’s phone. 

“What are you talking about?” John exclaims, jumping up from the couch right when Alex stops pacing. Suddenly Alex looks very calm and collected, a plan devised in his mind. 

He places a hand on John’s shoulder, a look of brilliance projected on his face. “We have to date, don’t you see? Or at least fake date. To prove Jefferson wrong.” That’s when John starts to laugh with less of a nervous twinge to it. He laughs while Alex’s eyebrows furrow. “I’m not kidding John.” John stops laughing immediately at his tone, realizing that he wasn’t kidding. 

John falters slightly. “You want to pretend to date me just to make Jefferson’s prediction false?” Despite Alex’s serious tone he can’t help keeping his lightweight and airy, as if this were all a joke. The scene unfolding sounded a lot like something you would see on a sitcom and he doubted they qualified for sitcom-life status. “You have to admit that’s a little incredulous, Alexander.”

Slowly, Alex closes his eyes and then reopens them. “This _burning_ need to prove that condescending narcissistic asshole wrong never goes away. Even in my sleep it’s there, _constantly._ If I have an opportunity to prove him wrong…” He paused. “Then I have to do it.”  
John sighs, scratching his head and pulling at a strand of his hair slightly. “Alex,” He began, his head beginning to hurt. “You know what you’re saying, right?” 

“Of course I know what I’m saying, and I know it’s a lot to ask John. But if we don’t, Jefferson will always be right. And yeah you’d never go for me, but that’s not the point.” It was the truth, as if the goodnatured force trapped inside a body with chestnut curly hair and constellations of freckles would go for somebody like Alex. If he knew any better, he could’ve sworn John’s face fell a tiny bit, but he knew better.

Alexander didn’t think he was  _ worthy  _ enough to be with John, and something about that broke his heart, staring at Alex’s face so filled to the brim with truth and honesty. If anything, he was too good for John. Swallowing up everything inside him that told him not to, he smiled. “I would be honored to date you Alexander.” 

And that evening they revised a final draft for the email they were to send to every email address linked to the white house. 

 

Dear All Concerned,

 

It has come to my attention that a few members of the cabinet and other areas of the White House have been voting on whether John Laurens and I, Alexander Hamilton, would make a good couple and/or when we were going to get together, if ever. I was surprised at this knowledge that passed over me, especially surprised when I found out who exactly were involved. Because this is going to every email address that is linked to the White House server, I feel I would be doing a disservice to the one’s I am talking about if I were to expose them, so at my liberty I will not be. But you know who you are. It’s not that I care, I have never cared much about what others think of me. I am an openly bisexual man which I have never hid and I guess that will come with assumptions which I am fine with. I just find it awfully unprofessional. That is besides the point, so despite that I will be the first one to say that John Laurens and I are officially dating. We have had a “thing” for quite a while but have never disclosed it, not even to our best friends, but I felt it important to disclose this in an email to everyone. Say what you will. Thank you.

 

Sincerely, Alexander Hamilton.

 

Once he pressed send there was no going back. Then they texted in the group chat they had formed a while ago with Hercules and Lafayette, titled  Revolutionary Fuckers

 

_**A Ham:**_ Hope you guys aren’t too hungover, we have news.

_**Le meilleur:**_ Mon ami, I am fine. Hercules however has broken two glasses today

**_Daredevil Mulligan:_** I can speak for myself u fucking baguette

_**Laurens:**_ U guys live in the same house y don’t u say this out loud

_**Le meilleur:**_ You would miss out on the, how you say, excitement :)

_**Daredevil Mulligan:**_ listen u motherfucking croissant u know how to say excitement

_**Daredevil Mulligan:**_ uve spoken english for six years

_**Daredevil Mulligan:**_ anyway whats ur news??

_**A Ham:**_ John and I are dating.

_**Laurens:**_ Officially 

_**Le**_ _**meilleur**_ : Je suis désolé, quoi?

_ Daredevil Mulligan removed Le meilleur from the chat _

_**Daredevil** **Mulligan**_ : imma tear that dude apart

_**Daredevil Mulligan:** _ but what the hell thats so great my dudes 

_ A Ham added Le meilleur to the chat _

_**Le meilleur:**_ Thank you mon ami.

**_Le meilleur:_** And I am very happy for the two of you, we all saw it coming as you know.

**_Laurens:_** alexander spent the day typing out an email to everyone in the white house letting them know we’re dating

**_Laurens:_** so yes

**_A Ham:_** It had to be done, and I’m glad you two are being supportive. 

**_Le meilleur:_ ** Votre amour sera comme un jour d'été. :-)

_ Daredevil Mulligan left the chat  _

That went well, as expected. Lafayette and Mulligan were two of the most open minded people Alexander had ever met and it helped that they were in a relationship with each other. It had went so well that he hadn’t thought about how he was going to be faking a relationship with his best friend. When his phone rang a few minutes after they shared the news with Laf and Herc, Alex swiped to answer the call, grimacing when he saw the name  _ Virginian #1  _ on his screen. “Jefferson.” He greeted in a flippant manner, but he kept it civil this early into the call. “What may I do for you this evening?”

Thomas laughed, and for some odd reason his laugh sent chills down Alexander’s spine. He was already losing his patience. He glanced at John who was sitting on the couch pretending not to eavesdrop on the conversation. Alex tried not to admit to himself how cute John looked at the current moment. “You’re going to lose the debate on Tuesday.” Jefferson replied in a nonchalant manner. “Everyone in the White House knows about your fraternization with John Laurens, and you underestimate the power of the Republican party. A homosexual, introducing our new debt plan?”

Thomas Jefferson was such a fucking idiot, and as Alexander thought that he also openly voiced it. “I really don’t have time for this today Jefferson.” He spit out his name as if it were poison. “You’re such a fucking idiot, you know that, right? I’ve been an openly  _ bisexual  _ man since I stepped in the door and how many debates have I beat you in?” Silence on the other end of the line. “That’s what I thought you ignorant excuse for a secretary of state. Secondly, every one in fucking D.C with eyes knows you’ve been dating Madison for years so referring to me as a homosexual in a degrading manner is offensive to you as well.” Before giving Jefferson the time or satisfaction of replying, he ended the call. “Goodnight.” Alexander spat to the empty line. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see John and instantly relaxed. He hadn’t really noticed he was tense, but suddenly he was acutely aware of how hot his face felt and how loud he had been on the phone. “You’re okay Alexander.” John said, his hand still on his shoulder. “I know stuff like this gets to you, I’m sorry.”

They took a walk, John said he wanted to get out but Alex knew he was only suggesting it to calm him down, and he was grateful. The sun was beginning to set and the air was brisk as they walked down the quiet street, side by side. The walk did clear Alex’s head, and he felt the rage begin to subside inside of him. As the walk cleared his head, it also made him realize exactly what he had done and what he had dragged John into. They were dating now, maybe not legitimately but soon everyone would know they were in a relationship with each other. They were important politicians, word had probably spread to the ends of the country and over to Europe by the time it took Jefferson and Madison to read the emails they received. They were in deep shit and Alex was suddenly worried he had went a bit too far this time.

 


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter filled with fatherly speeches and fake first kisses.

Going to work the next day was decisively interesting. As Alexander walked inside the White House, laptop in his left hand and a cup of coffee in the other, he walked down the corridor to his office at a fast pace. He wasn’t nervous, but he had a lot of work to do, work he had missed while planning to fake date John, and he definitely didn’t feel like running into Jefferson this early in the morning. As he neared his office door, he saw Burr standing outside his own office door, about ten feet away, leaning against the wall. “Alexander.” He greeted, stepping away from the wall.

Alexander slipped a smile across his face quickly, hoping Burr would find it genuine. It wasn’t that he disliked him, but John was right, he was the human equivalent of a potato sack, and he had no views of his own, which rather angered Alex considering he only had views of his own. “Burr, what can I do for you?” 

He smiled back, and Alex was unsure if it was genuine or not. In that moment he also realized that Burr was sort of like that first piece of bread that no one ever eats, and he quickly made a mental note to share that one with John. “I just wanted to say congratulations about your relationship with John.” He paused. “I also wanted to apologize for speculating about your relationship, that really isn’t me. I keep to myself.”

“I know you do, it’s fine Burr. And thank you, I appreciate it.” Alex found that he rather wanted the conversation to cease. That was probably the shortest thing he’d said to someone in years.

Burr nodded and then stepped into his office, closing the door behind him. Alex turned to his own office door and pushed it open, stepping back a little when he saw George Washington sitting idly at his desk, tapping a pen repeatedly on the desk. “Sir?” Alexander asked, looking around the office. Washington usually called others into his office, not greeted them in their own office when they walked in in the morning. 

He looked up as Alex spoke, a determined look on his face. “Alexander. I didn’t know what time you usually come in, it’s hit or miss with you, but I knew it was early.” He stood up, stepping away from the desk. Over the years, Washington had become somewhat of a father figure to Alex, and he was always happy to see him, but today’s visit made him quite a bit nervous. 

“What can I do for you, sir?” Alex asked, walking over to his desk to place his laptop and coffee cup down on the desk. The coffee cup was a customized mug that read, “Best Treasurer” which he had designed himself. He pretended it wasn’t a bit shameful. 

Washington cleared his throat. Alex couldn’t help but notice how old he was beginning to grow, wrinkles etched into his face from years of a tough job. It was inevitable that people grew old, your death was set in time, but seeing him age was as if the country itself was growing old, wrinkles forming in the Constitution. “I feel as if I owe you an apology.” He began until Alex cut in, cutting him off. 

“No sir, really, it’s okay. If you think my email was pointed at you in anyway I can promise you it wasn’t. It was pointed at Jefferson and Madison, really.” Alex began to say, his words fumbling out of mouth quickly. The last thing he wanted was for Washington to think that he was mad or annoyed at him. 

And then Washington laughed, rich and thick. “It’s okay Alexander. I shouldn’t have been speculating about you two, it was inappropriate. But I am very happy for you too.” They were about two feet away and Washington placed his shoulder around Alex, smiling down at him, as he towered over him by quite a few inches. “If he breaks your heart I’ll break him.”

  
  


***

 

The rest of the day went regularly, vigorously typing on his computer, until twelve. At noon Thomas burst into his office without knocking with a sheepish Madison behind him. Alex glanced up, already feeling annoyance rise in him. “What do you want?” He asked in an acrid manner, peering up at them from over his computer screen.

Jefferson was wearing a ridiculous baby blue suit, something resembling what you would wear for prom, and Madison was wearing a modest work outfit. Sometimes Madison seemed so “okay” that Alex didn’t understand why he was so glued to Jefferson’s side, why he adored him so much. When they had worked together before Jefferson arrived from France, he was so different, they had actually gotten along. And then Thomas showed up and wrecked everything. 

Surprisingly, Madison spoke. Jefferson looked too angered to say anything coherent. “Last night you said everyone in D.C knows we’re dating. Did you tell anyone anything, Alex?” He asked, concern cast across his face. 

Alex scoffed, shutting his computer screen. “I didn’t tell anyone you were dating, I wouldn’t do that.” He replied, seeing a look of relief on James’s face. “I just meant that it’s pretty obvious. And really, it’s not a big deal.”

Jefferson finally spoke up, his eyes narrowed, “Yes it is a big deal.” He spit. God, Alex hated him so much. “Do you know how many Republican votes I would lose if people knew?” If he didn’t know any better, he could’ve sworn that Jefferson looked rather scared, slightly terrified. Despite the conversation, Madison slipped an arm around his side, and Alex watched as Jefferson relaxed into the touch. 

“Thomas,” Madison started, his voice deep and concerned. “We’ll figure it out.” Jefferson sighed with a quiet laugh but didn’t say anything further. “Sorry for bothering you Hamilton.” He parted, walking side by side with Jefferson and closing the door behind him on the way out.

With the distraction gone, Alex went back to work but was far too distracted to get anything done. After a while he picked up his phone and dialed John’s number, who answered on the fourth ring. “Alexander, hey.” He greeted, his voice familiar and warm.

Alex smiled, looking down at his desk. “I couldn’t work so I figured I’d call you.” He replied, shuffling papers around on his desk.

John laughed. “You couldn’t work? Sounds unlikely.” He retorted. “Well I’m not busy so we can talk, if you want.” He offered. At the moment he was sitting at his desk in his law firm bored out of his mind. Burr had stopped by half an hour ago and congratulated him on his relationship with Alexander, which was thoughtful of him but John still held his distaste for him. After Burr left, George Washington arrived at his law firm and freaked him out by announcing that if John hurt Alex, he would personally hurt John. He was still a little shaky about it, he didn’t enjoy the president of the United States barging into his office and threatening him, it was a little bit terrifying. John relayed what happened to Alex, who sat there laughing for about three minutes. 

After a while he stops laughing but there’s still a chuckle in his voice. “I can’t believe he pulled the dad speech on you.” He exclaims, bewildered. It’s true he’s viewed Washington as a father for a while now but it warms his heart to know Washington is looking after him in that way. He’s never had a father before to do fatherly things like that and deep down that’s all Alex’s ever wanted. Family. “Not going to lie, that makes me happy though, John.”

“What? That the president of the United States came down to your fake boyfriends office and said that if I hurt you he would, and I quote, ‘Hurt me so bad he wouldn’t be allowed to be president anymore’?” John replied, incredulous. 

“Precisely.” 

When the two of them hung up, it was only so they could meet each other at a restaurant, as the two of them figured if they were going to pretend to be dating they should having outings that real couples would have. As Alexander started to close the door of his office, Washington walked over to him, waving him over. “Son, I forgot to mention this before, but we’re going to need to put out a statement.”

Alex faltered, a statement made sense not that he thought of it, him and John were both successful, Alex the Treasurer and John one of the most important lawyers in the country, but it still came as a shock to him. “Of course, sir. Do you want me to draft it? I was going to meet John but it can w-”

“No, go out with John.” Washington smiled. “Draft it tomorrow, we might want to do interviews and stuff of that sort. You’re very important to the country and you have quite a following.”

Alex smiled, that was true. He currently had a million followers and although he knew it was only because he dragged everyone that sent hate his way, as Washington had pointed out quite a few times, he was proud of it. People wanted to hear what he had to say. Thomas heavily suggested it was just so they could see the trainwreck.

Because of his little conversation with Washington, Alex was a few minutes late to dinner. He dashed inside, spotting John sitting alone at a table for two, talking on the phone. When he noticed Alex, a smile spread across his face before hanging up the phone and placing it on the table. He stood up, greeting him. “Alex.”

It almost seemed like they were on a real date, but that would be ridiculous. “John.” He replied back, reaching the table and sitting down at the same time as John did. Almost immediately he noticed a few glances. This was a fancy restaurant and Alex noticed some important politicians here who knew who he was. “Sorry it took me so long, Washington told me we’re going to have to make a statement of our relationship to the public.”

John raised his eyebrows just as a waitress ambled over. They ordered drinks and as soon as she walked away they returned to their conversation. “This is a lot, Alex. I’m starting to think this isn’t a good idea.” John might’ve realized it was a bad idea, everything ended up a bad idea when Alex thought of it, but he also knew it was too late. How could you come out and say you were faking a whole relationship? The repercussions of that would be terrible, he could lose clients, Alexander could lose his post. They hadn’t even devised a functional plan on how to properly end it when the time came. 

Sighing, Alex played with the napkin on his lap. “I’m kind of worried this is the worst plan I’ve had in awhile.” He confessed, meeting John’s eyes. John tried not to notice how beautiful Alex’s eyes were, how dark and deep and filled with emotion and knowledge they were. Noticing these things would get him nowhere, and yet when he told himself not to notice them he only ended up noticing them more. 

He casted his eyes away from Alex’s. “Even worse than when you tried to anonymously start a rumor that Jefferson was married to his cousin?” That had been quite the mess. One night after a rather heated debate with Jefferson that nearly ended in a fistfight had Madison and himself not been there to pull the two of them apart, Alexander had went online and anonymously exposed him for sleeping and marrying his alleged cousin. It ended with Alex admitting it was him and Thomas threatening to tear down everything he’d ever loved. They didn’t even breathe around each other for a month after that. During that month John and James shared hushed conversations over the phone discussing how to get them in the same room together. It was forced to be hushed and secretive because both Alex and Thomas exclaimed that any of their friends fraternizing with the enemy would be a traitor. It was a tough month. 

“Even worse than that.” Alex replied. “I may have just messed up both of our lives.” He looked up at John and he looked so sad and conflicted that it nearly broke John’s heart.

Instinctively and without thinking, John placed his hand on Alex’s. Alex’s eyebrows raised but he kept his hand there. “What was that for?” He questioned.

“People are watching, we should act like a couple.” John lied, but Alexander nodded in agreement.  

After an hour of eating and talking amiably with each other, they began to leave the restaurant. There was still an audience, diners watching them with interest because the word had spread, and as John was shrugging on his coat, Alex tugged at his arm and kissed him. He stood there for a moment, unsure how to react, frozen and transfixed until he began to lean into the kiss, kissing Alex back. It was warm and soft and a tangle of emotions, and when they both pulled away John was certain he wasn’t acting nonchalant at all. “For the people.” Alex explained with a wink.

  
  


***

 

John really liked Alexander, and this was terribly problematic. He couldn’t help it, he kept imagining what it would be like to be with him, and now with the kiss etched into his mind he couldn’t help but think it could be a reality. But it couldn’t, he knew that deep down, so as he laid in bed, searching for sleep that wouldn’t come, he replayed the kiss in his mind, the feeling of Alexander’s lips on his own, the kiss filled with empty hopes. 

After a while, as his chest seemed to shrink inside of him, John fumbled around for his phone and turned it on. It was already midnight, but he impulsively dialed Herc’s number, hoping he was still awake. Luckily enough, he answers. “John, you’re up late.” He greets. In college, Hercules had always been so amazed at how early John went to sleep, always teasing him about it, even now.

He sighed, sitting up in bed. “Herc,” John paused. This was a mistake, he couldn’t tell Hercules that him and Alex weren’t actually dating and then confess that he did, in fact, have feelings for Alex. Honestly, he hadn’t even come to terms with it himself. “I’m a little drunk, sorry. I don’t even remember why I called.” He faked a laugh, hoping to sound equal parts drunk and convincing. 

Hercules faltered slightly. “Okay bud. Get some sleep, okay? You sound wrecked.” He was such a kind friend, John couldn’t help but smile. 

“Goodnight Herc.” John replies, ending the call and placing his phone on the end table and rolling over, trying to fall asleep before any images of Alexander could pop into his mind.

That night, when sleep finally found him, he dreamt of his arms around Alexander, and when he woke up the boy he dreamt about was sitting contently at the edge of his bed with an ice coffee in his hands. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if this is my best work but I'm not sure if I'll be able to update during the school week so I just wanted to get this out. Also a lot of you have expressed interest in me updating this story so I'll do my best to regularly update.


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hair braiding and pining.

A cup of coffee in hand and his hair fluffed up and messy, Alexander was literally the definition of art. John tried not to think about that though. “Morning.” Alex greeted, his voice still deep and fuzzy with sleep. “I got you coffee before I went to work.” He held the coffee cup out to John and John took his arms out of his blanket cocoon, accepting it with a smile. He knew immediately it was a double espresso, the only thing he ever got. The cup warmed his hands, and he sat up in bed to be level with Alex.

Graciously he took a small sip of the coffee, feeling the warmth burn his insides as it went down. “Thanks Alex, you didn’t have to get me anything though.” He replied.

Alex shook his head. “I wanted to get you something. Besides, we’re dating isn’t that what boyfriends are supposed to do?” He questioned, a coy smile flitting across his lips. 

Placing the coffee down on his end table, John laughed. He had left his curtains open and morning sunlight wafted into his room, filling it with a cool warm feeling. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” 

“Washington is drafting the address today about our relationship.” Alex began, and to John’s surprise he laid down on the edge of the bed lengthwise, his whole body taking up most of the space near the end of the bed. He was short enough that his legs didn’t hang over. “And then we’re going to have to do an interview. I’ve basically already come up with what we’re going to say so we don’t have to worry about that.” As worried as Alex seemed, John had to admit he wasn’t worried much. So they had to do an interview and pretend they were in love. John was already halfway there. “But I think Jefferson is getting pissed off so everything’s going nicely.”

John sat up straighter so he could look down at Alex as he spoke. “We’ll figure it out, Alex. It’ll be fine.” He said, and Alex nodded in response. “And what’s going on with Jefferson?” 

Alex rolled over onto his stomach, sighing the whole time. It was as if Jefferson physically made him sick to think, talk, or hear about. “He’s walking around the White House looking at me as if I’m some creature and he’s acting belligerently homophobic, which is really starting to piss me off considering he’s as straight as a slinky.” John laughed at this remark although Alex’s eyebrows stayed furrowed in annoyance. “Madison is being nicer to me though, I think he’s attempting to compensate.”

“Jefferson is scared, pay him no attention.” John replied, which was really the only advice he could give him. He always got so bothered by Jefferson and John didn’t really blame him anymore.

He remembered a two months ago when Alex and Thomas had been in one of the most heated arguments they’d ever had to date. John didn’t exactly remember why he was there, he always seemed to be with Alexander when he thought of it. They were standing outside the White House screaming at each other, John and James standing beside unsure what exactly to do. Alexander’s face was all red and vein was threatening to pop out of Thomas’s forehead and neither of them had ever seen them like this before. “Should we do anything?” John remembers whispering to James, who shook his head rapidly in response, not uttering a word. 

Alexander was screaming about how what an utter useless sack of shit Jefferson was when Jefferson had said it. As soon as he said it, it seemed as if the world stopped spinning. Alex froze, retorts disappearing from his head, even Madison’s mouth opened slightly in shock.  _ “Well you’re just a disgusting orphan.”  _ Jefferson had spit back and the air had gone silent. 

The sudden drop in movement hadn’t alerted Jefferson that something was wrong, and he kept going off until Madison stepped in. “Thomas. Enough.” He had said with enough force to cause Jefferson to raise his eyebrows, finally closing his mouth. 

John had walked forward, placing his shoulder on Alexander and beginning to guide him away. “Come on Alex, let’s go.” He said quietly. There was a glazed look over Alex’s eyes, as if he was ten again when his dad left, or twelve when his mother had died. Before walking away John had turned his head to Jefferson. “Stop being a fucking asshole.”

He hadn’t thought it could get any worse, Alexander and Thomas’s relationship, but after that event any chance of getting along was completely shattered. “I just want to prove him wrong and then we can end this, okay?” Alex piped in.

John nodded, “Yeah, of course.” He replied, although if he were being completely honest, there was a part of John that didn’t want it to end. But Alex wasn’t interested in him that way, nor would he ever be. They were best friends, and that was all, but his mind kept reaching back to the kiss last night, and how it had filled him with so many emotions and scared him half to death. This was all confidential, locked in the back of his mind. He remembered how he had nearly told Hercules last night, and felt shameful on his lack of judgement. Hercules, along with Lafayette, were the biggest loudmouths that John had ever met. Had he told them, Alexander would know his true feelings and the world would know they weren’t actually dating in a matter of five minutes. 

  
  


***

 

An hour later the two of them were walking to the White House together, holding hands to impress the public. They were close and touching and John hoped his palm wasn’t sweating. Case in point, he was a mess. As if they were switching roles, Alexander seemed cool and collected, his hand steady in John’s. “Are you nervous?” He asked quietly, one of his eyebrows raised. 

John cleared his throat, “Yeah, this is a big deal. An official government address. About our relationship.” He faltered. “Don’t you think this is a bit extreme just to get Jefferson back at this point?”  
To his surprise, Alexander laughed. “Absolutely. When have I ever been anything but extreme?” He asked, and John agreed. Alexander’s skills included fighting people, working until he couldn’t anymore, and making rash and acute decisions. It was hardly surprising, but now it directly effected John, but he had chosen to go along with it so it was on him also. 

The address was short and concise, completely to the point, they stated the facts and then they got out of there. Washington informed the two of them that they had an interview scheduled for tomorrow where they would go into detail about their relationship, something that was already giving John a headache. “It’ll be fine.” Alexander said as they walked out of the White House. “I’ve already come up with numerous things we’ll say and I’ll script it out tonight.” John nodded his head. “I have a very cute backstory for us.”

John cocked an eyebrow. “Oh really? How do we fall in love?” He asks with a smile on his lips.  

“Well you were in love with me from the moment we met, obviously.” Alex replied. “My love was more gradual.”

John laughed. “How come I get to pine after you?” He asked, although he realized it was fitting considering he was pining after him now.

They decided to go over Alexander’s apartment and work on the interview together, John only suggesting it so he could make sure Alexander ate and slept that night. His apartment was quaint and always smelled like banana bread scented candles, a commodity Alex always had. Sometimes John expected to open a closet and see hundreds of candles stashed away. It was a smell that always seemed to follow Alex as well. Alexander Hamilton, the fiery passionate man that smelled like banana bread yankee candles. 

Alexander immediately retreated to his computer while John wandered over to the kitchen to make something for Alex to eat, knowing it would take him hours to get him to pry his eyes from his work long enough to eat. He opened the door to the fridge finding nothing but water, milk and an old carton of strawberries. “Alex. You have no food.” He called to him, hearing him grunt in response. He sighed, sifting through the cabinets and finding virtually no food. How does anyone possibly live like this? He knew Alex would probably be dead if it weren’t for him, Herc and Lafayette, or at least very bad off. 

He sat down on the couch next to Alexander, who was typing away at his computer, his hair falling over his eyes, strands flying everywhere. Alexander reached up quickly to brush it out of the way, coming off as frustrated and mildly annoyed, still distracted in his work. “Do you want me to braid your hair for you?” John offered, trying to come across as friendly and nonchalant. Alex peered up at him, nodding. 

Reaching up, John took a clump of strands in his fingers, beginning to braid them. Alexander’s hair was soft, but John tried not to take notice in how many strands fell out as he continued braiding, intertwining the hair between in his fingers. Alexander hummed softly, his fingers still typing at the computer but significantly slower and more rhythmic. John continued braiding his hair for another ten minutes, slowly, until all of his hair was braided and out of his face. “Here you go.” He said when he was done, clearing his throat in an awkward fashion. 

“Thanks.” Alex replied, reaching up and running his fingers softly down the braids, prying his eyes off the computer screen to glance up at John. “Almost done with our love story.” He stated with a smile.

_ I’m not.  _ John thought to himself as he smiled back.  _ I can never tell him, he can never know.  _ “Well hopefully this interview goes smoothly. Jefferson would have a lot of laughs if he found out all of this was staged.” He replied, getting up from the couch. “I’m going to go to the store for you while you finish working. You need food, Alex.” He said strictly, slipping on his shoes and shrugging on a jacket.  _ I like him so much. _

Alexander murmured a reply that John couldn’t quite hear and then continued working, leaving John to sigh inwardly and head out the door into the biting cold, pulling his car out of Alexander’s driveway. If he listened closely enough he could hear the sound of Alexander typing at his computer and the sound of his own heart cracking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when I copy and paste my work from google docs to here I never proofread it or make sure it's formatted correctly so if it's ever messed up please feel free to tell me!


	4. chapter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is fairly short but bare with me. School is crushing me right now.

The interview was quite possibly the most stressful thing John had ever encountered in his life. And he had encountered Alexander Hamilton. Acting in love when you were already in love was one of the most confusing and unfair things he had ever had to master. Throughout the interview as they were pretending to be lovesick puppies, he knew Alex was faking it while he meant every word and every expression and every feeling he was trying to project. 

_ “John, when did you fall in love with Alex?”  _ The interviewer asked, a tall woman with strikingly blonde hair and vibrant red lips. For some reason she intimidates him. “We were roommates in college, and it’s kind of hard not to fall in love with him.” John replies, sneaking a quick infatuated glance at Alex who is looking at him in a mirrored fashion. The interviewer makes an aw sound quietly, soaking it all in. It’s ridiculous and John wants to die, but he goes on, spinning the elaborate tall Alexander created. “As soon as he walked into the dorm room I was a goner. They dropped his belongings off before he arrived so for a couple of hours I was sitting in a room filled with some dudes hundreds of books wondering who it was going to be. I’m being completely serious when I say that he only had books.” 

The interviewer smiles, turning her attention to Alexander.  _ “And you? When did you fall in love with John?”  _ She asks, and John can’t take his eyes away from Alex. He knows it’s a story, this isn’t actually real, Alex never fell in love with him, but he’s still speaking it and it’s enough. Even if it’s all because of Jefferson. “I can’t pinpoint an exact time or place I fell in love with John.” Alex begins. “But I always fancied him. He was the first friend I ever had. Growing up a poor orphaned bastard I didn’t have many friends, and John was my first.” John smiles softly, knowing that part was true. “And then my feelings of friendship developed into feelings of romance.”

They did that for nearly half an hour, talking about their relationship in the most fabricated means possible, and by the end of it John felt the uncontrollable urge to cry, something he didn’t feel to do often. As they walked out onto the street, the brisk air blowing onto John’s face and waking him up, Alex explained that he had pressing work to take care of at the White House and would talk to him later, giving him a kiss on the check for the people on the street before turning and walking off in the direction of the White House before John could offer to drive him.

John pulled out his phone, dialing Mulligan’s number. It was only noon and there was a chance that he was working but John was hoping he could swing by anyway and hopefully talk to him. He had to talk to somebody or he figured he might explode. “Mon ami.” Hercules answered in a gruff voice, causing John to cock an eyebrow. “Sorry, Lafayette is making me learn French so that when he’s drunk I can understand him without google translate.” He explained, causing John to laugh despite the heaviness in his heart. 

Hercules and Lafayette were such an odd and dynamic couple sometimes it surprised John that they worked so perfectly together, but somehow they did. In a way they were more or less two best friends who just happened to fall in love but their friendship outweighed their relationship. John thought it was cute. “Could I stop by?” 

“Yeah.” Herc replies. “I never actually  _ travail _ anyway, so come on by.” After a moment he added, “ _ Travail  _ means work, by the way.” As if John didn’t speak fluent French. Out of all of them Hercules had been the only one who didn’t know a hint of French, although he was fluent in Spanish and Italian. He had never felt compelled to learn it. 

John said goodbye and then hung up, heading out to Herc and Lafayette’s place. Their place wasn’t far from the apartment so he decides to walk, he could use the time to clear his mind and the cool air might refresh him. He walks for a few minutes without thinking, staring down at his shoes, when he nearly runs into Angelica Schuyler. They’ve been friends for years and he greets her with a smile. John always ignores the fact that despite how long they’ve known each other, she still manages to intimidate him. “John.” She greets with a warm tone. “It seems like forever. Congrats with your relationship with Alexander.” She says, and she means it. John knows she used to have feelings for him in college, she was an open book about everything, but along the way she developed a friendship with Alex that put her feelings aside. It seems like everyone in their group of friends had had a crush on Alexander at one point.

With a sunny smile John replies, “Thanks, I appreciate it.” They regard each other for a few moments. “How have you been, A?” Yep, still intimidated. 

“Well, my business is doing amazing and I’m dating the ceo of- oh wait, I can’t disclose that. Anyway.” She plastered on a smile. Yeah, that’s why he was so intimidated. Angelica was so successful, taking the world by storm, and was in a relationship she wasn’t even at liberty to talk about. 

Eventually they parted ways, after making promises to get everyone together soon, and he continued heading towards Hercules and Lafayette’s place. When he reached it he walked in, not bothering to knock on the door, and saw the two of them wrapped under blankets together on the couch watching a movie. On further inspection he discovered it was the disney movie Mulan, a movie he was certain they had watched at least a million times. “Hey you guys.” John greeted, Mulligan looking up and proceeding to pause the movie.

Lafayette looked up and John noticed that he was donning very striking winged eyeliner, something he did on occasion. “Mon ami, sit, tell us your problems.” 

Obliging, John sat down on the couch next to Mulligan, pulling the blankets out and throwing them on top of him too. He told them the whole story, how him and Alex were only pretending to date to get Jefferson back, but how he had begun to fall for Alex despite that. When he finished, Mulligan’s eyebrows were furrowed. “Shit man.” He said. “I can’t believe you’re not actually dating. And all to get Tjeff back?”

John nodded. Lafayette’s face looked acutely annoyed although he didn’t let on and buried it underneath his concern for John. Sometimes he forgot that Laf was one of the only people that actually liked Thomas Jefferson. “Maybe he is falling for you too. This fake relationship isn’t  _ nothing.” _ They offered, his eyes squinting with effort. 

Despite the fact that he knew Alex definitely didn’t like him, John nodded with a smile directed towards Lafayette. “Maybe.” He replied. “I like your eyeliner, by the way. Dangerous.”

“Thank you, mon amour.” Lafayette replied with a smile flashing on his face. He loved being complimented, by anyone and for anything. John thought to how he struggled with some things, how he cared so much that it could tear him up from the inside. When they had first met Laf had been so insecure and unsure, and now he had blossomed into a confident person who wasn’t as scared to be themself. John was proud of Laf, immensely. 

The blankets were warm against him and he felt like staying the day here, not worrying about Alex or any of the fake dating bullshit. But he would have to face it sooner or later. “Don’t tell Alex I told you we’re not actually dating.” He pleaded, earning a smirk from Mulligan. 

Mulligan’s smirk grew into a shit eating grin. “Nah, we’ll find a way to have fun with this.” He replied, causing John’s eyebrows to furrow. He should’ve known that Herc wasn’t going to let him off easy. Of course he would, it wasn’t that surprising. He loved to play games. 

John halfheartedly flashed a glare at Hercules. “If you fuck this up for me I swear to god.” He threatened, which only caused the man he was threatening to laugh, throwing his head back. “I’m not kidding you piece of shit. Don’t mess this up.” He bit, Hercules proceeding to laugh even harder.

When he finally stopped laughing, Herc looked over at him, a grin on his face. “You’re as threatening as a puppy dog. Holy shit it’s funny.”


End file.
